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Revision as of 10:36, 19 November 2016
The Origins of Hitler
Downfall Hitler’s Original Universe
- April 20, 1889
- Adolf Hitler is born.
- December 20, 1924
- Hitler is released from Landsberg prison following the Beer Hall Putch. Shortly after he arrives outside, Hitler encounters a mysterious man he does not know. The man says he knows Hitler and offers to shake his hand. Hitler accepts and shakes the man’s hand which results with Hitler disappearing never to be seen again. It is later revealed that the man is actually Albert Einstein.
- 1950s
- With the absence of Hitler, the Nazis never rose to power and instead Stalin and the Soviet Union emerged unopposed with their ultimate aim being to conquer the whole of Europe.
- A continental Soviet Union is our destiny! — Joseph Stalin
Hitler Rants Parodies Universe
- December 20, 1984
- Hitler is 35 year old, wakes up and is unaware that he is now in a parallel universe.
- January 30, 1992
- The Reich is established and Hitler becomes The Führer.
- August 23, 1999
- The Reich and the Soviets establish a non-aggression pact.
- June 22, 2001
- Hitler declares war on the Soviets after Hitler is informed about a rumour that Stalin thinks he’s a dumbass.
- September 11, 2001
- The War on Terror begins after the attacks on the World Trade Center towers. Its goal: the elimination of Osama Bin Laden and his allies.
- April 01, 2003
- Fegelein is hired and assigned to Hitler’s HQ as Himmler’s adjutant.
- September 08, 2004
- Construction of the Führerbunker is complete.
- January 16, 2005
- Hitler retreats to his bunker as the Soviets surround what’s left of the Reich.
- October 20, 2008
- The majority of Hitler Rants Parodies cover events that take place on and after this date.
- April 20, 2009
- Hitler celebrates his 60th birthday by ranting about not getting any presents because everyone forgot.
- January 16, 2010
- Five years have passed since Hitler was forced to retreat to his bunker. The inability by the Soviets to finally defeat Hitler has become a great embarrassment for Stalin.
- April 20, 2010
- Hitler celebrates his 61st birthday by ranting about not getting the HDTV he wanted.
- February 15, 2011
- The Libyan civil war begins.
- April 18, 2011
- Hitler has Justin Bieber eliminated. This causes a war with the United Bieber Fever Alliance. The Soviets are forced to withdraw from Berlin after being overwhelmed by the UBFA. It’s rumoured when Stalin was informed about the retreat from Berlin he was furious and he is determined to reinvade Berlin.
- April 20, 2011
- Hitler celebrates his 62nd birthday by ranting about his birthday celebration being someone else’s.
- April 30, 2011
- Hitler continues to battle the “Hitler is dead” problem.
- Maf 02, 2011
- Hitler’s search for Osama Bin Laden comes to a surprising end, when he is informed US forces have beaten him to it by finding and killing OBL. What’s more devastating for Hitler is the fact Himmler had searched that very same town and had reported he had not found OBL.
- May 18, 2011
- The Reich-Soviet Alliance is established bringing an end to the war between the Reich and Soviets.
- May 23, 2011
- The United Bieber Fever Alliance is defeated by the Reich-Soviet Alliance. Hitler delivers the final blow by destroying UBFA HQ with the pencil of mass destruction. Its presumed Justin Bieber is killed as its believed he was in UBFA HQ when it was destroyed.
- The Reich-Soviet Alliance is dissolved with the Soviets withdrawing from Reich territory.
- October 20, 2011
- The Libyan civil war comes to an end when SS and NTC forces killed Gaddafi in the town of Sirte. Hitler was very disappointed when Himmler failed to catch Gaddafi alive.
- November 7, 2011
- As planned by Hitler, Fegelein is captured and sent into space on a rocket. Nevertheless, he returned to the bunker.
- December, 2011
- Hitler’s plan to eliminate Jodl leads to the Jodl Rebellion. The Jodl Rebellion successfully forces Hitler to capitulate when most of the Reich’s forces defect to the Jodl Rebellion. The plan to eliminate Jodl is cancelled and Jodl gets his old job back ending the war.
- Hitler’s planning sessions are reverted to the old format of Jodl and Krebs advising Hitler instead of Skeletor and Mohnke in accordance with the Jodl Rebellions demands.
- December 19, 2011
- Hitler asked Göring “What is the time?” Göring did look at his watch, but he did not tell Hitler what it said. Hitler was enraged at Göring and proceeded to shout at him and Göring just looked at Hitler and remained silent. Göring doesn't seem to care about anything but eating food and that includes not caring to talk either. This incident was uploaded to YouTube to show the world how useless Göring is. The video was flagged because it’s supposedly offensive and it’s believed that Göring was the one that flagged it because he has an ego the size of his fat arse.
- December 19, 2011
- Hitler has dinner with Grawitz in what is believed to have been an attempt to improve relations between the two men. Hitler and Grawitz had begun to eat the dinner, but soon Hitler started being rude saying that the dinner Grawitz had prepared was ‘hideous’ and ‘crappy’. As Hitler continued to rant about the dinner, Grawitz who was already unstable and always close to tears got the two grenades he had already had on him and proceeded to arm them. Hitler at first was unaware of what Grawitz was doing, but when he did notice, what he thought might be grenades and asked Grawitz whether they were grenades they then exploded. The explosion, which totally destroyed Grawitz’s home, did not kill Hitler or Grawitz. When help arrived, they found a singed Hitler in the rubble ranting about how he couldn’t believe that Grawitz would try to kill him and that Grawitz would be punished for ruining his suit.
- February 27, 2012
- A time-travelling Fegelein prevents Gunsche from assassinating Hitler and causing all out chaos in the Reich.
- February 27, 2012 (Alternate Timeline)
- Gunsche assassinates Hitler, revealing himself to be a double agent working for Wolfgang Kortzfleisch.
- February 27, 2012 - May 4, 2012 (Alternate Timeline)
- The Reich is plunged into chaos as it becomes split into separate factions, each fighting for control. Taking advantage, the Soviets proceed to invade the Reich.
- May 10, 2012
- Hitler and Fegelein kills the Inglourious Basterds Hitler, though Fegelein tries (and fails) to kill Hitler.
- May 21, 2012
- Hitler appears on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He fails on the first question.
- May 30, 2012
- Hitler learns Goring has failed to eat Fegelein.
- July 10, 2012
- Hitler appears on Wipeout with an epically failed performance.
- July 24, 2012
- Hitler tries to grab the Olympic torch, but is prevented from doing so by security personnel.
- August 14, 2012
- Hitler gets attacked by his own computer.
- August 29, 2012
- Hitler's 1000th attempt to kill Fegelein has failed.
- September 26, 2012
- Hitler records his own Gangnam Style video.
- October 3, 2012
- Hitler's Gangnam Style video is uploaded. It was unpopular as it's disliked by everyone on the Internet.
- December 20/21, 2012
- Hitler is informed by Gunsche that the world will end on the 21st, only for Hitler to angrily respond that because of how stupid it is.
- April 2, 2013
- Hitler plays the ReichStation for the first time, losing in almost every game.
- November 15, 2013
- Hitler plays the ReichStation for the second time, beating several people on Bust-a-Move except Fegelein.
- December 25, 2013
- Hitler has yet another ranting Christmas after his presents (ordered from Reichazon) were stolen by Himmler, Fegelein, and Goring.
- c. 2014
- Hitler assainates Valkryie Hitler with his Pencil of Doom, wiping out him and his High Command, starting the War of the Hitlers.
- c. 2014
- The War of the Hitlers raged on. Around the same time, the Eastern Coallition and the Soviet Union marches off to war with the Soviets suffering numerous defeats. Eventually, most of the Hitlers, except Hitler, Inglourious Hitler, and Adolf Hitler are wiped out, and the Western Alliance intervenes by sending in a small army.
- c. 2014
- The War of the Hitlers ends with total victory for United Reich and Western Alliance forces. Meanwhile, Stalin was killed when Moscow was taken over by the Eastern Coalition, and Marshal Zhukov replaces him. All of the Soviet Union was annexed by either the Western Alliance or the Eastern Coalition, and Soviet Russia is all that remains.
- October 21, 2015
- Hitler goes back in time to kill Fegelein before he became invincible, Unfortunately for Hitler this has a negative impact on the timeline and he returns to find Adolf Hitler has won the War of the Hitlers.
- c. 2015
- The Brotherhood Of Fegelein. After supposedly killing both Jodl and Fegelein, Hitler makes plans to exercise more power on the United Reich. However, it turns out that Fegelein is not dead after all and he，along with Jodl's ghost, his followers, and a newly-revived Jodl Rebellion form a new organization to combat Hitler: the Brotherhood of Fegelein!
- April 30, 2016
- Fegelein kills Hitler in the same way that Hitler has killed him hundreds of times.
- November 8, 2016
- Hitler for President 2016. Hitler's second US presidential bid, an wins the election.
- 2017
- Hitler is inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States.
- c. 2018
- The Enemy Within. With all his attempts over the years to destabilise the Reich from within failing. The United Reich has emerged as a major global power with advanced technology such as the Pencil of Doom MK III and the Wrath of Hitler Cannon, which gives the United Reich the ability to defeat the Space Nazis. Günsche is left with no choice but to take drastic action in order to weaken the United Reich, so the Space Nazis can win The Final Conflict and conquer Earth.
- Unknown
- Hitler has a new planning team (consisting of Mohnke and a few others). His global domination plan fails because his forces can't even retake Berlin from the Soviets, forcing him to reinstate his old planning team (Krebs and Jodl).
- c. 2018
- In the Final Conflict, Earth is invaded by the Space Nazis in 2018 and they regard everyone living on Earth as inferiors. Hitler and the Reich are determined to protect and defend Earth from the Nazi invasion with their RSS Adolf Hitler spaceship, which was wrongly named, USS George W Bush. (Fegelein thought it would be funny to have the Reich spaceship named after a president Hitler greatly despises, much to Hitler’s annoyance). Hitler and the Bunker Crew are forced to take a final stand against this new menace for the sake of the world.
- c. 2020
- According to what Haase told Hitler during the Enemy Within crisis. This is the year Hitler dies.
- April 30, 2020?
- All Good Things. The final chapter. The final parody. Hitler's final story. This will be Hitler Rants Parodies final parody. This series will be set during the entire HRP universe timeline and each episode will be set during a different period in the timeline.